Plse watch these 2 videos if you have not been laffing for a long time. Has to admit it's lame though.
See if yours true??
Dec 23 to Jan 01 Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 Lime Tree
Mar 21 Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 Fig Tree
Jun 24 Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 Lime Tree
Sep 23 Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 Fig Tree
Dec 22 Beech Tree
YOUR TREE (in alphabetical order)
Apple Tree (the Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm,appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile,adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous,many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.
Ash Tree (the Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive,demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic,reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.
Beech Tree (the Creative)-- has good taste, concerned about its looks,materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc)
Birch Tree (the Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess,abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
Cedar Tree (the Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt,likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
Chestnut Tree (the Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
Cypress Tree (the Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.
Elm Tree (the Noble-mindedness)-- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes,modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded,generous, good sense of humor, practical.
Fig Tree (the Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed,honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments,hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships,great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.
Fir tree (the Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well,loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly,likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.
Hazelnut Tree (the Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest,
a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.
Hornbeam Tree (the Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
Lime Tree (the Doubt) -- intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.
Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious,proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily,
complicated love life, wants to impress.
Oak Tree (the Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting,independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.
Olive Tree (the Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
Pine Tree (the Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and
reassurance.
Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership Seriously.
Rowan Tree (the Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic,passionate,emotional, good company, does not forgive.
Walnut Tree (the Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts,often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner,not always
liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) -- likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless,capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that on loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others Laugh.
Another week before we say gdbye to September. Very shagged...guess i've not fully recovered frm the flu, sigh! On top of tat, din sleep well oso 4 the past 2 days. 真是岁月不饶人，想要不认老都不行。More sighing...
Watched [小孩不笨2 - i not stupid 2] juz now. My eyes had a thorough washing during the show. So sad and patheic and yet it's a truth fact tat it's happening daily in our society.
Today is also the start of Ramadan - the Month of Fasting for our Muslims 同胞. Daily fasts begin at dawn and end with sunset with additional prayers nightly. Looking fwd to the 2 PHs next mth.
Finished watching japanese anime - Inuyasha (犬夜叉) movies 2, 3 and 4 on YouTube. Started the marathon since ytd nite. Breaked for sleep arnd 4am.
Had difficulties locating one particular JDrama titled Artificial Beauty (2002 production) by Ryoko Yonekura and Kippei Shiina.
Unable to slp even though took some medication which will cause drowsiness. Accidently found out tat Inuyasha have several movie serials.
Muz oso thank 1 person 4 introducing a great online radio channel to me. Yes, it's you, Eric. Hv bn tuning in faithfully to HKVP Radio, at times it's quite difficult to tune in when all the free slots are taken. Din know so many ppl luv cantonese songs leh.
These old photos brought back some childhood memories...these were just some of the places where I had grew up and/or visited.
Almost been 1 week since I last updated my diary, lemme try to recollect wat I had done.
Guess top on the list will be recuperating from flu. To-date, I'm still coughing away wz phlegm even though I had been to doc twice. Visited my colleagues who is unwell during one of my lunch day.
Started to follow taiwanese serial - Silence[深情密码], acted by Zai Zai, Andy Hui & "Lian Sheng" frm [大长今]. Sad story...hopefully it's a happy ending. Dun like story wz sad ending.
Will be starting on another Korean drama [宫] which will be shown next month on TV.
From: Dr. Sara Reynolds
Pass the butter ~ ~ ~ This is interesting.
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.
DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the very end......................gets very interesting!
- Both have the same amount of calories.
- Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
- Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
- Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
- Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
- Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
- Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.
And now, for Margarine...
- Very high in trans fatty acids.
- Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
- Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol (the good cholesterol)
- Increases the risk of cancer up to five fold.
- Lowers quality of breast milk.
- Decreases immune response.
- Decreases insulin response.
HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING AS WELL AS DISTURBING!!!!!!!!!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC.
This fact alone is enough to avoid margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:
* No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter them up")!
Working in the airline industry:
1. We work in weird shifts...
Like prostitutes
2. They pay you to make the client happy...
Like a prostitute
3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny...
Like a prostitute
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
Like a prostitute
5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you...
Like a prostitute
6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed....
Like a prostitute
7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell...
Like a prostitute
8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you...
Like a prostitute
9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain it...
Like a prostitute
10. Everyday when you wake up, you say:
I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING THIS" .....
Like a prostitute
REMARKS
The only difference is the prostitutes can take Christmas and New Year's Eve
off and they actually DO make a lot of Money!!!
If you know someone in the airline industry please share this with them so they don't feel bad anymore.... Like a prostitute!
1. DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
2. NAMES OF WIVES
A Malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... Baby doll
3rd wife..... China doll
2nd wife.....Barbie doll
1st wife..... Panadol !
3. HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...
4. RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night Men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 Peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!
5. ARAB MAN
An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel!"
6. SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"
7. HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and...
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
8. SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
9. GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor!!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
10. DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
11. VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
12. OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Lesson 1 - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
Lesson 2 - Pickup In The Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.
Lesson 3 - Always Remember Those Who Serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
Lesson 4 - The Obstacle In Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
Lesson 5 - Giving When It Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
Most importantly.................. "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."
Ah Beng Speaks Up about Singapore history and current affairs...
Under the 'ang mo' we all live happily together, no complain. Malaysia & Singapore is one big family in our brains. One day we both like 2 durians cannot get along. Got sharp thorns, poke each other, until 'buay song.'
One moment like brothers, can give and take. Next moment we kena kicked out by the leg. Wah! Our towkay also cry like mad, we all also feel very very sad.
Our neigbours all say, 'Wah they all sure to die! They got nothing, how to get next bowl of rice?' So 'boh pian,' we all work day and night. We also join the army so that we can fight. We don't care others 'see us no up'. But actually inside we very pain in the heart. Then slowly hor we grow rich and a bit fat. Now others talk about us also got some respect. They scratch their heads and say 'Very funny! Got nothing how come they can still make money?'
Last time also got no money to buy ice-cream cone. Nowadays even small kids can also afford hand phone. Sea port, airport also can become Number One. He! He! Sometimes think about it also very fun. But some people look at us also not happy. Actually they jealous don't want to say only. So every time their country got something wrong.
They all say Singapore's behind it all along. Everybody know we water no enough. They turn off tap only we all cannot last. They threaten us with water supply and shout 'Cut! Cut! Cut!'
Aiyoh! They all think the water is one big ketupat. We all hear already also 'buay tahan' Wah liao, they think we small can makan! But now they 'cow pay cow bu' we all not very scared. We want to build water desalination plant already so not so bad. But their own economy now all go bust. Got to sell water otherwise money no enough. Then another neighbor say Singapore no friend friend, Got so much money, a bit more also donno how to lend.
They say we all only one small red dot, like the center of a big dartboard. Maybe they think we mouse and they cat. That's why they suka suka anyhow talk like that. But we all still send them a lot of rice. Show the world we actually very very nice. Sometimes we 'cho ho sim' also kena whack. But we all gentleman wan, don't want to fight back. I think hor maybe they don't understand us very well. That's why relationship sometimes like heaven sometimes like hell.
Some say aiyah our prosperity is all due to luck, that's why we all siao siao' can still win the Tiger Cup.
I think hor, Singapore is like chilli padi in a pot - Size small small but still very very hot.
To all Employees:
1. Avoid quick-drying polishes. They have a large amount of acetone, which dries out polish and causes cracks.Use regular polishes instead for a manicure that will last three times longer. Also, store polish in the refrigerator for a longer life.
2. Always roll, never shake the bottle. If you do, you’re sure to get bubbles. Just roll the bottle between your palms. That’s more than enough to thoroughly mix polish.
3. To keep polish from bleeding into the cracks, apply cuticle oil to the surrounding skin before you apply color. Then it’s easy to wipe off excess after polishing.
4. Always make sure that each polish coat is as thin as possible. Thicker coats don’t dry enough between coats to adhere to the nail properly and so polish will peel off more easily.
5. To remove tough polish stains, soak nails in white vinegar for 10 minutes. Or add two teaspoons of household bleach to one-half cup of warm water and soak nails for 15 minutes.
Din slp well last nite as keep coughing. Throat oso very bad. So many o/s emails and issues to solve. Sigh!
Went 2 c doc, was given some flu medications. Doubt it'll help. Went Superhub 4 lunch.
Day 1: Din do anyting much. Had dinner near Lot10(i tink so). After makan, stroll arnd the area. Past by Planet Hollywood. Had some drink at an open space pub. Environment not bad.
Day 2: Una 2 slp well, maybe due to new place. Throat giving me hell. Down wif fever. Luckily, had brought along some medication. Bz day. Heavy rain in teh evening. The live band @ Rum Jungle is gd, abt 5 mins walk frm htl. Started coughing in teh nite. Tink caught teh flu bug.
Day 3: Tried to do some last min shopping. Found nthg spcl 2 buy back. Watever they have, we oso have in SG. Sorry folks, din get anyting 4 u. Scroll arnd teh DEP area after ckin. Kena molested by teh lady police when she did body search after teh metal detector sounded. So worried couldn't pass teh temp detector at Changi, dun wish 2 get quarantine.
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
===============
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute...I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk...sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
================
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
WOW! So KLIA (KL Intl Apt) is so many times larger. Imagine i had to take an aerotrain to the immig to clear custom. After custom, went to search 4 tkt counter to buy train tkt to KL Sentral. They have 2 types of train services called KL Express & KL Transit. The former cost MYR35/trip while the latter cost MYR12 wif staff discount. Had a difficult time locating KL Transit counter, almost got lost. Time taken frm apt 2 Sentral was abt 35mins. Upon reaching Sentral, took their LRT to Dang Wangi stn (MYR1.60), abt 5-10 mins walk to hotel.
Ckin @ Concorde Hotel, nice view. Able to see the infamous Twin Towers aka KLCC frm my room.
Woke up quite early in the morning to do some last min packing. It can be considered my 1st trip 2 KL, even though I went dere once more den a decade ago(drove). The only impression I had during tat time was their mosquito was damn huge, found in KFC.
Changed some monies at teh DEP hall. Din realise T2 has undergone so much changes, wif so much freebies...dere are some massage machines, internet access (restricted to 15mins per usage) and some other items.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position...
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Din haf enuff slp last nite, so tired 2dae...Rcvd pspt collection notification slip only 2dae. Welcome the showers during evening time. Hope the nite will be cooling...Recapped of 2dae's happenings.
1. 3P conference call which involves LA. It lasted abt an hour.
2. Trying to resolve some AR program issues. In btwn, make some program changes 4 Tips.
3. Vgml lunch wif dessert(green bean soup)
4. Mtg @ 1500hrs which lasted arnd 90mins. Managed 2 siam some presentation 4 teh last time. Die die oso hv 2 present at next mth mtg.
5. Not much testing done 2dae.
So hot nw after the downpour. Perhaps, due to teh heat frm PC.
Tatz all folks!!!
Wld say yes except some small hiccups after work.
Panicked when no notification for collection arrived ytd. Called up ICA hotline who gave me another 2 nbrs 2 dial. Lousy! Either line enaged if not boh lan ans, make me worry 4 so long! Finally, a lady staff ans one of the line. Rushed down 2 collect biometric pspt at ICA after work. KNS. Guard dere intially refused 2 let me in until he asked qns till he song. Hotline staff kept insisting np 2 collect even wifout any notification slip.@#$%^*^&!
Kept tinking my Q nbr is 925 when it's 928 all teh while, so malu. 当时恨不得有个洞给我躲进去. Those gahmen ppl so kiasu, made me thumbprint both thumbs. Muz be tat uncle sam requirement......
Pspt nbr no more ai si nbr liao......sianz another new set of nbr 2 remember. SIGH!!! as if we dun hv enuf numerics 2 remember. Enuf complaining 4 todae......
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Shall post smthg meaningful for my entry!!!
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Quote 1 :
Ever hear the story of the giant ship engine that failed?
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer $2.00
Knowing where to tap $9998.00
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Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.
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Quote 2:
One of the most memorable case studies I came across on Japanese management Was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.
Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.
Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed
through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.
But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc. but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
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Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem. Learn to focus on solutions not on problems. Be simple, solve simply
LTA has contracted 6 traffic wardens frm a private company at $34,000/year to take down the licence plate number, make & colour of vehicles that intrude into bus lanes at peak hours. (They are incognito with camera in hands......so don't expect to see TP etc)
Note you can get fined $130 for dropping someone off at or near the bus stop.
Bus Lane operation hrs :
7.30 am to 9.30 am and 4.30pm to 7pm (Weekdays)
7.30 am to 9.30 am & 11.30 am to 2 pm (Saturdays)
LTA has intensified their operations at the following areas:
1) Eunos Link
2) Hougang Ave 3
3) Jurong Town Hall Rd
4) Lorong Chuan
5) Orchard Rd
6) Upper Serangoon Rd
7) Upper Thomson Rd
8) Yishun Ave 2
Additional spots where speed traps were seen at these places:
1) PIE towards airport near Toa Payoh exit, tripod mounted speed camera at the pedestrain overhead bridge, 90km/h.
2) PIE towards jurong near adam road exit, tripod mounted speed camera over at Adam Road flyover, 90km/h.
3) Braddell Road after Bishan Junction towards CTE, tripod mounted speed camera at the pedestrain overhead bridge, 60km/h.
4) Queensway towards Bukit Merah, tripod mounted speed camera under tree before Ridout McDonalds, 60km/h.
5) Spot along Upper Bukit Timah Rd towards Woodlands Rd, tripod mounted speed camera under tree after a curve turn, 60km/h.
Fine imposed is $170 and 8 demerit points.
People, do take note. Received this email from my overseas fren.
If you have a Visa or Mastercard you might want to read the following. This is a genuine scam operating in Australia and is likely to come here.
WARNING...New Credit Card Scam.
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; THEY already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN numbers on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation.
My husband was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "MasterCard".
The scam works like this: Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge Number is 12460 your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona?"
When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?"
You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"
Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card ". He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers". There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him.
After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?" After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up.
You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story made short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation.
The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost to late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of MasterCard" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a Police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening.
Reached bus-stop juz in time 2 realise tat i had left my apt pass at home. DARN!!! By the time, i picked up my pass, i missed my transport to work. Had no choice but 2 take public transport......Late 4 work. In teh end, reached office arnd 10mins 2 9am.
Dinner @ PW foodcourt tat steamboat place. So full......Tink had indigestion liao.
Did i mention i bought a Fuji Z3 digital cam ytd? No, i dun tink so. Haben realli explore wif it yet. Didn't buy at Comex, bought it at Best Denki instead where some promo going on.
Went wif Berricia to Comex 2006 @ Expo. Met her up at Expo MRT, had BK 4 lunch. Everywhere, ppl mountain ppl sea(人山人海). Queuing is common scene. While having our lunch, we bought 2 tulips (purple 4 mei mei, pink 4 me) in support of CCF Tulip's Day event. Saw Kero, Dewei and Petrarchan working at their booth.
We got wat we wanted ie mei mei bought her earfones and headset wif additional vacuum cleaner. I bought speakers and vaccum cleaner.
Crowd getting worse as we were leaving......Tired but fruitful day!
Went to submit my pspt renewal application. Wah, it's so expensive to apply for pspt now. $80 valid for 5 years only nia. They say it's bio-metric, cost increase so application fee oso increased. You get $10 off if you dun submit over their counter ie if you post, drop-in or apply online etc.
Click here for more info.
New pspt shd be ready by Thu (07/09) for collection.
Had dinner date wif my family mbrs at Stonegrill, located at 91 East Coast Road, Singapore 428791 (opp Katong Village). Tel: 6348-1211. Best to make reservations if you wish to go during peak hours. Interesting way of cooking. can be considered healthy eating. We had Portobello Mushroom, Oktoberfest and Sirloin steak. Total cost arnd $65, drinks included.
Headache started in the morning. Not sure watz d cause. Perhaps, slept too early (slept arnd 9 plus ytd) Usually, sleeping time is arnd 12 plus. If really tatz d case, I really pai mia.
Darn! Juz realised my passport validity is less than 6mths when wanted to apply air tkt. Sianz!
Brought fwd my nail care session. Tis time round, i chose glittering purple and pink 4 toes and hands respectively.
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Sirloin Steak
Soup
